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evilchuchu's LiveJournal:
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| Wednesday, April 30th, 2008 | | 6:38 pm |
*curious*
So, saw this on luco millian's page and thought I'd steal it too, and hope she doesn't mind ^-^ As she put it, "the truth is always good for us, no matter how much it hurts (or doesn't)". Brutal Honesty Meme: snatched from luco millian Step 1: Post this in your journal. Step 2: others will reply anonymously ^_^ about what they really think of you. Step 3: cry, because this meme is so brutal, and it hurts. I look forward to hearing what people truly think of me ^-^ Current Mood: worried | | Wednesday, November 21st, 2007 | | 7:07 pm |
| | Monday, April 9th, 2007 | | 1:19 am |
mmmmm cake ^-^ | You Are a Chocolate Cake |  Fun, comforting, and friendly. You are a true classic, and while you're not super cutting edge, you're high quality. People love your company - and have even been known to get addicted to you. | Current Mood: worried | | Monday, April 2nd, 2007 | | 6:00 pm |
saw this around often enough that I figured I should try it ^-^
Pr | What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Science/Math Nerd (Absolute Insane Laughter as you pour toxic chemicals into a foaming tub of death!)
Well, maybe you aren't this extreme, but you're in league with the crazy scientists/mathmeticians of today. Very few people have the talent of math and science is something takes a lot of brains as well. Thank whosever God you worship, or don't worship, so thank no deity whatsoever in your case, for you people! Most of us would have died off without your help. | | Social Nerd | | | Literature Nerd | | | Anime Nerd | | | Gamer/Computer Nerd | | | Artistic Nerd | | | Musician | | | Drama Nerd | | What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace |
wow, go evil *laughs* I think I'll be the only science/math nerd, though I'm not so...good with math...^-^'' Go duodenum! | | Thursday, March 8th, 2007 | | 1:34 am |
| | Wednesday, October 18th, 2006 | | 4:46 am |
confused
so it's weird, living with your ex. A part of me was terrified this would happen, us moving in together, getting locked into a lease, then breaking up. In my relaxation class we learned that what you try really hard to do you usually end up screwing up. You're supposed to try, but not to the point where you're obssessing over it. Ah well, I'm here for 7 more months at least. I'm going to take a year off after I get my degree at York and try to work my life out. I've been trying to do this for awhile now, but everything else keeps getting in the way. I've sorted bits and pieces out, but never the big picture. I don't know if I ever will find that out, I don't know if we're ever meant to. I know that I need to meet new people, I need to challenge myself in ways that scare me so I can grow. I need to leave the comfortable behind and develop in ways I haven't yet due to previous circumstances. I don't think I need to worry, everything usually seems to work out in the end. If things get rough along the way, I have the support of some good friends. Right now I feel like I'm floundering, lost, almost like I'm not doing things I should with the time I have. I definitely need to go out more. It's a pity no one ever seems to want to go with me, everyone wants to do something I don't, or at times that I don't. Anyways, I should go, I'm trying not to sleep after midnight. oh, can someone reply? I like to think of this as a nice, semi-private way to vent, but I really do like hearing outside opinions. Current Mood: hopefulCurrent Music: carry on dancing- savage garden | | Saturday, July 22nd, 2006 | | 4:49 pm |
| | Saturday, April 22nd, 2006 | | 12:01 pm |
dreams are weird
So I've found that staying up late and then sleeping in late can increase the chances of me remembering my dreams. In the first one I can't remember what happened before this, but I in bed with some guy who had just raped me, and I could *feel* him still groping me around my shoulders. The cold, hard feel of those hands and fingers was revolting. Then I don't know how this happened, but this darkness came over me and I broke one of his knees and both his ankles. He's screaming in pain and shouting obscenities and swearing to get revenge on me, apparently something worse than what he had just done. So I climb back into the bed and place my hands on either side of his head. I crush his skull inwards, taking care not to lacerate my hands with the bone fragments. Then the next scene I'm standing in the same room, and there's a moon overhead with an almost reddish glow, or maybe there were red clouds in front of it. I holding up this weird dagger that's dripping blood and there's this overwhelming feeling of darkness, but I'm revelling in it. Next scene my hands are touching other people, people I think I care about, the way that guy was touching my shoulders, with those same cold, hard hands. And this was really, *really* scary, because at that point all I cared about when this darkness took over me, was bringing pain and misery to other people. I woke up really freaked out, this is the first nightmare I've had in a *long* time. I wanted to call someone, but it had to have been 7 or 8 am, and on a saturday no one would've been too happy ^-^'' So I'm writing about it here. Anyways, onto the second dream (which is less creepy, don't worry) I can't remember much other than that I was cheating on Rob. There was another guy who was living in our townhouse that we're going to move into this summer. We were on one of the benches in front of Stong pond and it was raining. Then we went back to the townhouse and spent most of a day having sex (I think he had been a virigin up until that point). Rob wasn't in the townhouse at this time,but everyone else was, Colin, Dirk, and Brit, and we did it in plain sight of them, and I remember not caring at all at that point. The day after I think we both woke up with regrets, me that I had done that, and he that he wanted to be with me, but knew I probably wouldn't leave Rob. Anyways the next scene is everyone besides that guy is going up to the townhouse, and before we enter together for the first time of course we have to check our messages on this computer outside of the house (^-^''). The only message there for me is one from this guy. When I see that it's addressed to me from him, I freak out and worry that everyone else will tell Rob what I have done, so I ask everyone to go ahead without me while I check my message. In it he says that he can't live with us anymore. So I go back into the house and tell Rob about what happened the other day. This is annoying as fuck, considering my actual present situation, but the dream, or my memory of it, ends there. So yeah, I think I had another dream in between those two, but can't remember it now. Stupid dreams that are kinda non-sensical but related enough to what's happening in my life to make me think they're supposed to be meaning something *shakes fist* Current Mood: scaredCurrent Music: none | | Sunday, April 16th, 2006 | | 8:04 pm |
oh dear ^-^'' please ignore the drunken rambling | | 1:27 am |
*drunbk*
I do't lkwo hy, but bpsry pf me hates youm, it'd not ratopma;. which is funny consuierding it's me, but right now I just hate you for all y9u destoryed insetad of trying to fix. Current Mood: drunkCurrent Music: noem | | Wednesday, December 7th, 2005 | | 10:46 pm |
searching for a way back inside
You know, the most annoying search is one where you don't even know what you're looking for. I just wish that for once I could see out my own eyes, instead of watch myself from afar. I wish I could feel in the moment more. I wish I could feel passion in my life, passion for what I study/want to become, and passion in my relationships with people(the physical is not really involved in this statement, though it would be nice). I just want to feel motivated to do things; right now I'm studying so that I can get good enough marks to get into grad school so I can become a physio; but I no longer feel the same drive towards that profession that I did when I was picking universities. I feel the drive to make new friends/comrades and have people to talk to, but usually end up relying on my old friends too much. I feel the need to be completely independent and away from everyone so I can find myself; but I lack the financial ability to do so. I want to know what I want from life, what I want from other people, what I want in relationships, so I can have a clear idea if I'm happy in them or no. I just want to feel like my life has purpose, that I have some impact on people. I want the times I'm happy to outnumber and outweigh the times I'm sad or angry. I want my apathy to stop being a looming threat in my life. I want to find people/hobbies/studies that make me happy. I think many of these statements are rather melodramatic ^-^'', but seriously, I just want to be happy, to smile, who doesn't? Current Mood: indescribableCurrent Music: falling at your feet- darren hayes | | Wednesday, August 17th, 2005 | | 9:29 pm |
because homophobia is idiotic (taken from rob who took it from someone else)
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. (note: Reading this one makes me realize just how lucky my Mom was that no one ever tried to take us away from her.) I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Current Mood: lonelyCurrent Music: none | | Sunday, June 5th, 2005 | | 8:51 pm |
why did I even get on that damn bus? .....
just got back from my trip. missed the 4:35 and would've had to wait for the 7:35 bus to barrie had I not called my dad and he came and picked me up. On the way back he starts getting on my case about nearly everything. He asks why I go to "toronto" so much, as if it's a crime to want to go outside of the house. He asks for about the 5th time what I said to his manager, when I've told him as many times that this human resources lady called me and asked me to work while *at school*. I told her I could work during the summer, but apparently they wanted someone right away, so there's that. And apparently over the weekend my sister's cancerous growth re=>finacee, was getting annoyed at my parents and telling my parents how he was pissed off that he told me to apply at costco because he likes to think he's important amd has some sway there (he works in the freakin tire lube express place and is only part-time...)and that he could get me a job. I did go there and hand in a resume; nothing happened, no one called, no interview, and the fucker's acting like he doesn't believe that I even bothered to apply...so my dad takes out his anger on me because the fucker took his anger out on him. Oh, and did I bother to mention that during may my dad said that it didn't matter what job I got, so long as I was working? because, understandably enough, I need to make the most out of these 3 months or so to pay for next year. Yet when I finally do get a bloody job, he acts like it's not good enough, and that it's my fault I'm not working somewhere big and important like Costco or his warehouse. There are a lot of freakin people and students looking for jobs now, and most jobs are in the food and service industry, what does he fucking want?! And I happen to think that it's a good thing I got hired at someplace like Price Choppers, because I *know* I won't get many hours there, but that means that I can get my G2 over the summer (which is something my dad also keeps ragging on me about) *sighs* and I'm sick too, my mom gave me her cold. I'll probably be sneezing all throughout my shift tomorrow. Everything was going pretty well until I started heading north....*sighs* Current Mood: annoyed | | Tuesday, May 31st, 2005 | | 12:01 pm |
hooray, then meh
so I went to the optometrist, and found out that I only have weak interior eye muscles, which was straining my eyes and making text blurry and thus the headaches. But other than that my eyes are perfectly healthy, and exercises can help my eyes get better so hooray. I also made the freakin honour roll for the school of kinesiology and health science at york! GO ME! ^-^ My mom said she was proud of me for the first time I can remember, which was nice, but then she went on to say how she hoped that I had something else besides academic intelligence. I really hate her sometimes, and this conditional love bullshit I've had to live with all my life. but anyways, I now have employment, so my bank account should hopefully get one of those lovely little positive signs beside its balance ^-^'' I must say, everything seems to be coming up millhouse ^-^ Current Mood: contentCurrent Music: holiday- green day | | Wednesday, May 18th, 2005 | | 11:03 pm |
*laughs* da, dadadadadada, dadadadadada ahhhh homer, bloodsport, you guys crack me up ^-^ | | Monday, May 2nd, 2005 | | 11:57 pm |
yoinked quizzes ^-^
warning you now, you guys are getting 3 of these ;P I'm bored go sad icon... awwww, ever after, I love that movie...and FF8 and some freaky looking lips, hooray! stewy and ice cream ^-^ and handcuffs, rrrrrow ;p Current Mood: okayCurrent Music: stabbing westward- angel | | Friday, April 29th, 2005 | | 12:48 pm |
*dances*
I'M FREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! who would've thought that that bloody women's studies exam would be the one I felt I did the best on, well maybe 2nd best, intro to health was pretty eeasy ^-^ anywhoose, I need cake, chocolate cake, and lots of it oh, and gameage, much much gameage it's odd, but I almost don't want to leave now (^-^''') but don't worry, that's only because the atmosphere around here is so nice now. No stupid little cliques hanging around blocking every doorway, very few people and they all seem so calm now that exams are over, everything's green and the birds are singing...this campus is really nice, no, beautiful, when it's not actually a school anymore ^-^ I go home tomorrow, I go home tomorrow *starts conga line* Current Mood: relievedCurrent Music: sound of birds chirping | | Monday, April 4th, 2005 | | 10:37 am |
,,,you fucking sons of bitches
god fucking damnit! what the hell did I ever do to you you mother-fucking karma gods! *shakes fist in anger* So now the subway here decides to not accept subway club cards or give out stamps when you buy from them. What the @#$!& hell?! Of course this happens at the end of the FUCKING year when my money's running really fucking low on my meal card and I had reserved a couple of full sub-club cards so I wouldn't starve during the last couple days. #$!$^5 #!#$$^@!@!^% #$@$!!@65212 what the bloody hell, I've contributed about 3 fucking thousand dollars in business to that goddamn shit hole during the past 2 years....goddamn you bastards!!!! I have 2 words for you subway......Mr.....Sub Current Mood: pissed off | | Wednesday, January 12th, 2005 | | 9:42 pm |
hooray for me! hooray for me! ^-^ *dances*
GUESS WHO FINALLY GOT A VOLUNTEER POSITION!!! ^-^ Now maybe I stand a chance of getting into the athletic therapy program here, hazzah! I don't really know how the hell this happened, as the place that called me was the *last* place I expected, since I thought they would be full from people already in the atheltic therapy program, but they called! and they're right on campus, 10 min walk away *tops*, so I don't even have to spend money to travel to my volunteer position! *dances* ahhhhh, watching and (hopefully) assisting physios... *melts* even if I later decide I don't want to get into the athletic therapt program, having this experience on my resume will help me get into grad school so I can become a physio ^-^....annd I think I'm done, hazzah! Current Mood: ecstatic | | Saturday, December 25th, 2004 | | 3:13 pm |
another stolen quiz for an update ^-^  | You scored as Shera. Break out those tacky leotards, the Princess of Power is in the house! Suzanne Somers has nothin' on you, Shera.
Shera | | 75% | Thundercats | | 67% | Heman | | 33% | Voltron | | 33% | Strawberry Shortcake | | 25% | Smurf | | 17% | Transformers | | 0% | </td>
Which 1980's Cartoon Character are you? created with QuizFarm.com |
kickass! ^-^ IIIIII ammmmmm Sheeeeee-Ra! Now let's go kick aome Hordaq ass Swiftwind! Current Mood: contentCurrent Music: the mask movie |
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